its a really wierd transition when you have someone in your life that you spend so much time talking to and thinking about, to just feeling like they dissapeared from it. to have your relationship virtually transfigured and altered in a way, in a blink of an eye nonetheless, to something you could have never imagined it being. like fast as watching something catching on fire and being so helpless you cant stop it but just stand there and watch it spontaneously combust not knowing whether if the state of it will ever be the same or can possible be save or fixed :/ feeling numb, in a state of shock you cant move and being burdened with the guilt that it was partly your fault that it burnt to smithereens cause you didnt even try to stop it from burning, you just watched and waited… the only thing you can do is wish for it to come back and you know where wishing gets us..